


Colors and Pillows

by YubiGhost



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, In Character, Insomnia, M/M, Nightmares, Other, Platonic Relationships, cuddling? not really but kinda, i didnt give izumi a name, implied Tasuku x Tsumugi, maybe slightly implied Azuma x Hisoka, slight indirect spoilers for winter troupe arch, takes place after the doll incident but before the unopening door
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22789519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YubiGhost/pseuds/YubiGhost
Summary: A little Azuma centered Winter troupe one-shot as I try to get back into the swing of things.Azuma is getting pretty well accustomed to his time with the Mankai company, but while his days are fun and full of hard work, night is a little bit harder.
Relationships: Winter Troupe & Yukishiro Azuma
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Colors and Pillows

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me if my formatting is bad! Hope you enjoy~

Rehearsal had run a little later than anticipated for the Azuma, the Winter troupe and their dear director. Tensions were a bit high, they had tried their best not to look at their scripts as they rehearsed. Some did better than others, but at the same time there was a sense of relief and confidence. While they were hardly late for dinner, being that the house was full of growing boys, much of what Omi had prepared for everyone was devoured by the time they had returned to the dorms. He had just finished cleaning the kitchen once the frosty boys had returned. The director opened the door and sighed as she pushed in. “Omi?” She called, heading toward the kitchen. 

Omi set the rag he had been using to dry his hands on the counter as he maneuvered around it, coming into view. He gave a relaxed smile as he wiped the palms of his hands on his pants. “Hey, Director. How was rehearsal, workin’ hard?” He asked as he went to greet the group at the door. 

Azuma pulled the door closed behind him as he was the last to come in. He took a moment to check his fingernails, making sure there wasn’t any dirt trapped underneath as he listened absentmindedly. He still felt fatigued after rehearsals, but he had been building his stamina, and it made him smile to himself to notice that it was getting better. 

The director stretched as she led the boys to the dining room table. “It was good, I really feel like we could all be off script by tomorrow.” She said, shooting the group behind her a smile. “Right?” Thank goodness she genuinely believed it when she said that. 

Tasuku nodded assuredly, his arms crossed over his broad chest. “Definitely.” He had pretty much already been able to rehearse without his script regardless.

Tsumugi followed suit with a nod and a pleasant smile plastered on his youthful face. “Yes, I’ll be leaving mine in my dorm room tomorrow.” There was a murmuring of general agreement from the remaining three members, Azuma humming in contentment. He thought he could have his lines all memorized by then if he took one last look at his final scene before bed.

The Director turned back to face the Autumn troupe member with another short sigh. “We’re all hungry though. Sorry I didn’t come up to help you with dinner.” She apologized. 

Omi waved a hand dismissively with a grin. “No worries, you were busy. I made some flower topped hamburgers. Muku said he had seen it in some manga or something and wanted to try it. Tsuzuru helped me out.” He explained briefly. 

This seemed to make the director smile. “Ooo, sounds interesting.” She cracked her knuckles like she was preparing to charge into the kitchen.

Omi stepped off toward the hallway, wiping the bit of excess moisture left on his hands onto his jeans with a somewhat tired smile. “Masumi wanted to wait to eat until you got back, Director, but we got him to eat with everyone else. I made sure they left enough for you guys, if there are any leftovers just wrap them up.” 

The director nodded. “I got it. Don’t worry, I’ll take dinner duty tomorrow.” 

Omi raised an eyebrow. “What kind of curry are you planning-“ he began. The director raised a hand to stop him. “Shhh, I have something in mind, but it’s a surprise!” She responded with a large grin of her own. 

While the Winter troupe sighed nearly in unison, Omi had the courtesy to smile back. “Okay. Stuff’s on the counter. Have a good night then, everyone.” He waved as he began the trek back to his dorm room with Taichi. 

The director made a show of dusting off her hands as she walked to the kitchen. “Time to microwave five dinners!” 

Azuma followed. “Don’t trouble yourself, I’m sure they’re still warm enough to eat now.” The director gently shooed him away. “Go sit, Azuma, let me bring you your dinner~” 

Azuma gave a gentle smile as he stepped up to the doorway of the kitchen. “You’re right, how unlike me.” He leaned in it, smoothly wrapping his arms together. “I hope you don’t mind if I watch.” 

The director shot him a smile as she grabbed an armful of plates. “I promise there’s nothing too interesting about watching me plate Omi’s dinner.” She said with a small giggle. 

Azuma offered a small shrug. “I’m just wondering what a flower topped hamburger is. I don’t eat hamburgers all that often, but this sounds new to me.” The director pointed to the counter where the leftover servings sat. “Well feel free to investigate if you want, I’ve never tried them either, but it smells great in here so I’m excited~”

In the dining room. Homare sighed as he absentmindedly wandered to the dining room table. “The loneliness of a lukewarm dinner, eaten by oneself alone on a winter evening. It’s poetic, no?” He mused. 

Tasuku narrowed his eyes. “How... is that poetic? Isn’t that just sad?” 

Homare shoved his coattails dramatically to the side before lowering into a seat at the table, eyes fixed to a random place on the ceiling, as if he were looking far off into the distance. “Ah... inspiration is striking me, a pen, I need a pen!” He snapped his fingers, slamming his other hand on the table. Tasuku walked right by him, already having given up on trying to make sense of his nonsense. 

Tsumugi gave the older gentleman an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Arisu-san, I don’t think there’s any loose paper close by.” He said, a half assed attempt at quieting him. 

Homare smiled brilliantly and turned to Tsumugi- who quickly realized his mistake. “Ahh, what a shame. But lucky you, I shall have to share my poem with you as I create it so you may remind me to write it down later. Now let’s see...” his gaze returned to the ceiling as Tsumugi slowly and regretfully seated himself at the table, at the spot across from the poet in silent solidarity against Homare’s idea. 

As the director began the process of serving the leftovers on to six separate plates, Azuma noticed Hisoka silently lurking behind her and opening a cabinet. 

“Hisoka.” He called gently to his troupe mate. 

The director turned to the small shaggy haired man with his hands in a cabinet. “Hisoka, when did you get in here? Did you need something?” 

Hisoka turned his droopy eyes in her direction. “... are there any marshmallows?” He asked in a voice quiet like he was afraid to wake himself up. 

“You can have some afterwards, okay? You worked hard today, you must be tired, let me bring you this dinner, I promise it’ll be yummy.” She gingerly ushered him away from the kitchen. Azuma retreated with him. He knew it’d only be a matter of time before he found where she had hidden his giant bag of marshmallows if she let him continue to look. The white haired fellow looked hesitantly over her shoulder into the kitchen. She gave a somewhat exasperated look to Azuma, and he gently took Hisoka by his shoulder to lead him to the dining room. “Come and sit, Hisoka.” 

The director called into the dining room after them. “Homare! Would you please keep an eye on Hisoka?”

The flamboyant gentleman paused in his raving to Tsumugi to turn and smile, his sharp eyes bright and happy. “Certainly! Hisoka, come and take a seat next to me. Surely you’ll enjoy my newest poem as well!” Azuma lead Hisoka to his seat, pulling his chair out for him and then moving across the table from him to seat himself. He took his place at the table and folded his hands politely together. Even simple gestures he managed with grace. 

The Director went back to preparing their plates, taking a few glances now and then through the opening of the kitchen to the dining room to watch the Winter troupe. Homare moved from torturing poor Tsumugi to rambling to Hisoka, whom he hadn’t seemed to notice had quickly fallen asleep in his seat. Tsumugi had begun to speak quietly to Tasuku who sat across from him, both of them with mildly serious expressions. Azuma watched on with a content expression on his face and otherwise kept to himself. He was half listening to Homare’s poem (there was something about steaming potatoes, and crisp tomatoes, then the word aficionado...something of that sort), and to Tasuku and Tsumugi’s quiet conversation. They were still talking about rehearsal and about what notes they wanted to work on when they retired to their bedroom. They truly were acting junkies if he had ever seen them. Azuma couldn’t say he was surprised, but hadn’t quite  _ expected _ to feel so at home with a group of rowdy boys like this. He did however, very much feel at home; he could feel himself unwinding as he basked in the warm dining room light, and the smell of their dinner, and the sound of his fellow troupe members being so lively. Well, most of them anyway. His eyes fell to Hisoka, asleep in his chair. Sitting up, which was a feat, and for the time being Homare hadn’t even noticed his soft breathy snoring. 

As Homare finished his poem he pushed his chair back and stood, hand placed with his fingers sprawled over his chest and his eyes shut, as if he was focusing on the words he left hanging in the air. Azuma thought it looked very Shakespearian. After a few seconds he released his breath and relaxed his shoulders, opening his eyes and looking down to Hisoka. “Well? What do you think?” He put his free hand on the smaller man's shoulder and gave him a small shake. It was enough to make Hisoka open his eyes. 

“Mnh?” He looked up slightly from the table. 

Azuma chuckled lightly to himself at the sight. Homare wasn’t fazed in the slightest. “My poem, how did you find it? Wasn’t it my best yet?” He sighed loudly to himself and sat back down, without even waiting for a response from Hisoka, who simply glanced at him tiredly. 

“My well of inspiration truly runneth over this evening.” The red haired man spoke with an amused trill to his voice. “I trust I’ll be composing far into the night.” 

Azuma nodded. “Just make sure you don’t stay up too late or you’ll be tired during rehearsal tomorrow.” He mused. 

Homare laughed a haughty but well mannered laugh. “You can’t stifle creativity, Azuma, you have to let it flow freely! It’d be such a waste not to!” 

Azuma chuckled again. 

The Director sighed as she approached the table with two plates, setting them in front of Hisoka and Azuma. “Please get some sleep tonight, Homare.” She said plainly before returning to the kitchen to get the remaining dinners. Azuma waved to her as she walked off. “Thank you very much!” He called. 

Hisoka, who had truly already started to fall asleep again, was awoken by the smell of the burger in front of him. “...thanks.” He said, almost certainly too quiet for the Director to hear. 

Soon she returned, skillfully balancing three plates between her arms and placing them in front of the remaining three gentlemen. 

“Tasuku, why the sour look on your face?” Tsumugi asked as he gently positioned his napkin beside his plate. 

Tasuku sighed through his nose. “Having my dinner placed in front of me like this makes me feel like a kid again.” 

Tsumugi gave a warm smile. “Isn’t it nice, though?” 

Tasuku hummed in response as he readied his silverware.

Homare got to work unfolding an extra napkin and placing it over his lap to protect his clothes just in case. He wasn’t a particularly messy eater, but sometimes if he got heated in a moment of inspiration things just... happen to fall off his plate. 

Azuma inhaled slowly and deeply, hovering over his plate. As expected of Omi, it smelled wonderful, and there was a healthy helping of cooked vegetables beside his burger rather than potato to make the meal more balanced. The director took a few more leisurely trips to the kitchen to get everyone's drinks and her own dinner, before seating herself between Tsumugi and Azuma. She quickly clapped her hands twice. 

“Thank you for the fooood.” She sang out before digging into her dinner. 

Azuma nodded in agreement with the rest of the table and started to pick at his dinner. He hummed quietly in the back of his throat. “This is very good. I’ll have to thank Omi myself tomorrow.” 

There were a few scattered nods around the table. 

“This ‘flower’ on top, is this just an egg?” Tsumugi asked as he poked at it with his fork. He had seemed just a tad curious earlier at the idea of a ‘flower topped’ hamburger. Azuma couldn’t tell if as a florist he was relieved or disappointed that it wasn’t topped with real flowers. Tasuku nodded, having already eaten a bite of it himself. 

“Seems so. But there’s sauce in there too.” he mumbled.

The Director nodded. “Mmm, it is really good, I’m surprised the high school kids didn’t eat every last bite.” She smiled as she continued to eat. 

Homare hummed what sounded like the tune of a song as he chewed. “Mm, truly masterful work, Muku has wonderfully fantastical tastes.” 

The direction glanced at the hallway in the direction of the bedrooms. “I hope he enjoyed it. I can imagine the look on his face seeing Omi make something straight out of a manga.” She pondered aloud.

Azuma glanced back at Hisoka, who was being characteristically quiet. He wasn’t eating, it seemed his hand was taking a break beside his plate, but there were already a few bites missing from his burger patty. Surprisingly enough though, his eyes weren’t closed in slumber, rather, they were pointed at Azuma. It wasn’t an unsettling stare or anything of the sort, Hisoka’s eyes were still cloudy and soft with sleep like usual. He looked on like he was absentmindedly studying the other snowy haired man at the table. Azuma gave him a little grin. Hisoka continued to look at his face for a few seconds before slowly casting them back to the table and lifting his fork again, without even acknowledging their eye contact.

“Do you like it, Hisoka?” Azuma asked sweetly in a quiet voice, like a mother to a young child. 

Hisoka hesitated but nodded. “Mm.” He slowly bit down on a chunk of the meat. 

The director nodded vehemently. “Good! You could use the nutrition! I told you that you would like it~” she said, a touch of pride in her voice, even though she hadn’t been the one to make dinner. “Maybe since you have real fuel in your body you’ll be able to stay awake-...” She began to speak, but was met with four pairs of eyes looking at her with significant doubt. She waved her hand. “Aheh, nevermind.” 

Dinner played out as it always seemed to. Homare inevitably knocked a vegetable into his lap and he made sure to point out how smart he was for putting a napkin down first. Hisoka fell asleep in between every bite. The Director, Tasuku and Tsumugi all vehemently discussed practice, and Azuma chimed in wherever he felt necessary. He noticed that even though Tasuku and Tsumugi weren’t actively excluding the Director (in fact they seemed to be asking her a lot of questions), their eyes gravitated towards each other more often than not. Ever since Tsumugi had decided that they should participate in the act off they seemed a lot closer. You could tell being around them all day that they really liked acting with each other. It made Azuma’s heart feel warm to see such camaraderie, especially between two people who had such heavy tension between them before, but he felt the tiniest prick of jealousy too. 

Everyone cleaned up their own plates and silverware, with lighthearted banter here and there. Azuma followed Homare as he grabbed Hisoka’s marshmallow bag and brought it to him where he sat on the couch after putting his dishes away. Homare pulled a marshmallow out of the bag and held it over Hisoka’s head. Azuma grinned. “Does that still work?”

Homare nodded. “Of course.” He dropped it, and with cat-like reflexes Hisoka tilted his head back in time to catch it in his mouth, eyes still closed and sighing lightly as he chewed. Homare poked him on the forehead softly. “Wait until we get to our rooms to fall asleep again, Hisoka, we can go up now.” He spoke with a lyrical lilt to his voice. Hisoka simply hummed in response. 

Azuma leaned onto the back of the couch and cast his gaze back to the other two winter members as they emerged from the kitchen. Tasuku rolled his sleeves back down over his toned arms, as they had been rolled up to keep them dry as he helped wash the remaining dishes. “I still think we should take him to a doctor at some point.” He said hesitantly. 

Hisoka shook his head sleepily from where he sat.

“What if he has that disorder that makes you fall asleep all the time?”

Homare raised a knowledgeable finger. “I believe that’s called narcolepsy.” he mused as he started to nudge Hisoka up out of his seat. 

Azuma held his arms out in a shrug. “Can’t be helped if he doesn’t want to go. Besides, he does well enough during rehearsals at least.”

“Well then, I’m off to write until I can write no longer, sweet dreams, all.” Homare called behind him as he pushed a now sleepwalking Hisoka into the hallway to lead him to their shared bedroom. 

Tsumugi and Tasuku soon followed suit, filing in behind the poet. “We’ll be rehearsing some more.” Tsumugi admitted with a small wave to the director, who was wrapping up the leftovers from dinner and putting them in the refrigerator. 

She smirked as she shut the fridge door and walked from the kitchen to the living room area. “After a nine hour long rehearsal already? You guys are crazy.” She returned the troupe leader's wave. “Just don’t stay up too late!”

Tsumugi nodded and gave Tasuku an amused side glance. “Of course. Goodnight.” he said as he disappeared into the hallway. 

“Night.” Tasuku said as he followed Tsumugi.

Azuma sighed through his nose, lightly playing with the end of his ponytail with his fingertips. “Good work today~” he called after his troupe members, leaning further onto the couch behind him. The director also approached the stairwell to get to her own room, looking back at the slender gentleman. “Will you be staying up and hanging out for a while, Azuma?” She asked with raised eyebrows. 

Azuma thought for a moment, pinching his own hair between his fingers. “Hm… no, I’ll be going to bed soon. Getting enough sleep is good for your skin.” He commented with a little smile, taking a moment to lower his arms before lifting himself up from the couch.

The director smiled at him. “Okay. You did well today too~ Goodnight.” She said with a relieved sigh as she headed off to her own room. 

Azuma stood, with his eyes pointed to his shoes. No matter how easy or fun his days at Mankai Company were, at the end of the day, his heart would start to feel like lead. He gave himself a moment to swallow down the twinge of anxiety he felt and wandered up to the second floor. Before he could even reach his room, he noticed Tasuku and Tsumugi beside each other, looking over the balcony into the courtyard. He slowed in an attempt to quiet his steps as he approached. 

Tasuku’s back was to him, but he could see Tsumugi’s face with it’s usual gentle demeanor. 

He was looking up to his friends face with sincerity and focusing on whatever he was saying. A smile spread over his lips, and as Azuma got closer he saw Tsumugi extend his hand to his taller young man. 

“Does that mean you wanna try holding my hand again?” he asked, a bit of a playful bite to his voice. Azuma raised an eyebrow. What in the world were they talking about?

Tasuku clicked his tongue and lightly swatted away Tsumugi’s hand. “Would you stop with that? There’s a time and place.” 

Tsumugi chuckled jovially. “You mean only when we’re stuck in a time loop?” Azuma could tell he was teasing. It wasn’t completely out of character for Tsumugi to be so playful, but it still surprised him a little. This must just be how he is around Tasuku when they’re alone.

Tasuku sighed. “No. Again, would you stop?” He did seem a little irritated, but also like he had given up on trying to change Tsumugi’s mind.

Azuma smiled, he had already been nearly directly behind them by the time the pair noticed his presence. He sighed wistfully and folded his hands over his elbows. “Ah, young love.” he mused, as if he was speaking to himself. 

Tsumugi retracted his hand close to his body and erected his body in surprise, eyebrows raising to his hairline when he noticed it was Azuma who spoke. “W-what?” Already there was a 

Tasuku spun quickly, a somewhat surprised expression on his face before it morphed into mild annoyance. “Yukishiro, what… I swear.” he huffed out a sigh. Tasuku wasn’t one to blush, so it didn’t show on his face at all, but Azuma sensed that he was a little flustered too.

Azuma raised his hands in surrender with a lilted laugh. “I kid, it was a joke.” He continued walking beyond them, taking a brief pause. “I just don’t remember that being in the script, that’s all.” he teased. He turned back with a little wave of his fingers. “Don’t stay up too late flirting, you two.”

Tsumugi’s blush deepend. “We… we’re not…” he mumbled, glancing down into the courtyard. 

Tasuku crossed his arms. “Ignore him, Tsumugi. We’re not flirting.” He said firmly- not aggressive persay, but very serious.  _ How very in character of you, Tasuku. _

Azuma nodded. “Mm, right, my apologies, don’t stay up too late ‘rehearsing’ then.” he corrected with a low chuckle in his throat as he went off to his room.

Tasuku sighed, exasperated, as Tsumugi brushed his own hair with his fingers in embarrassment. “G-goodnight, Azuma.” the troupe leader said bashfully.

“Yeah, goodnight.” Tasuku repeated, a bit of the annoyance in his voice leaving him. 

Azuma waved over his shoulder. “Goodnight.” He continued to smile to himself, feeling just a bit bad for feeling jealous over them earlier. How could he feel anything but happiness and amusement around them? 

His emotions sated for the moment, he went into his room. He turned on the light and promptly changed from his dirty practice clothes into something more suitable for relaxing. Not wanting to leave any time wasted, he sat himself down and did his nightly skincare routine. He didn’t like sweating excessively during practice, but he found that it also helped in making his face glow, which is definitely something he never would have figured out on his own. He really was starting to learn more in his time with the Winter troupe than he had expected. He knew that this new kind of experience was going to open his eyes to all sorts of things, but that didn’t stop the surprises from creeping up on him. He moisturized his face thoroughly, using a variety of serums and creams, before cleaning off and checking himself in the mirror. He was satisfied with the results enough that he decided to wind down. He moved to the drawer of his desk and pulled out his newest coloring book. With a short sigh through his nose he slipped his colored pencils out from underneath another book and set them on his desk. 

Taking care of himself never failed to help him unwind, and to keep his thoughts from wandering. He couldn’t deny it was a bit lonely at this time of night, now that he wasn’t working anymore. Had he still kept his job he would most certainly be with a client now, probably being shown around their house, or laying beside them and listening to them rant about their week, or maybe they’d already be asleep in his lap. He felt a tug on his heart as he thought about it. Perhaps he was still just getting adjusted to his dorm living situation. But he couldn’t help but feel like he did prefer having someone around at night rather than being alone like this. He almost missed working. No, he  _ did _ miss working. He had left in hopes to start a new chapter of his life, but maybe he still needed it... He shook the thought away and started to place down slow swirling colors into his book. He could think about doing that later. He was too busy with the play now. 

He went with a chilled color palette, starting with muted greens and blues, before taking pause and finding a warm violet and a bright red to add here and there. He smiled lightly to himself as he worked to add ornaments of red around the soft blue he had placed around the edge. He led small spiraling lines to the clouds of color toward the center. It reminded him of Homare, always working to keep Hisoka awake and involved. And the green and blue of course reminded him of Tsumugi and Tasuku, with their hair colors. That and he had placed them so closely together, and they mingled very well with each other despite their varying shades. Lastly he picked up his violet pencil and paused again. He wasn’t sure where it would go best. He let his hand lower slowly to his desk top with a bitter smile. This violet reminded him of himself. He didn’t really fit anywhere. Even if he found a place unoccupied by any other color, it would be off by itself; alone. He placed the pencil down and stood up. His mind was wandering too much tonight to relax. 

He turned off his light and climbed into his lofted bed. He settled under his covers, folding his fingers together over his abdomen and staring at the dark indigo on his ceiling. There was barely any moonlight being let into his room through his dark curtains. He started to feel the anxiety of loneliness set in over his mind. He wanted to shut his eyes, but there was still reluctance there. He sighed and forced his eyelids to relax and close. If only he didn’t think so much, he’d be able to fall right asleep. The loneliness was hitting harder these days. Maybe because when he could spend his days having fun with everyone, and seeing everyone so happy together and working so hard with one another, it made these nights in solitude all that more lonely. Truthfully Azuma couldn’t tell. It took a little effort to keep his mind from drifting, but he could feel his fatigue winning over and soon enough…

  
  


_ Everything was white. The high ceilings of the entryway. The floor. The three figures surrounding him. Everything was drained of its color. He could see his mother pull the strap of her purse up over her shoulder even from his viewpoint on the ground. _

_ “No…” Azuma’s hand reached out in front of him. He tried to grab the hem of his mother’s skirt as she walked passed him to the door, but to no avail it slipped through his fingers. _

_ “No no no, don’t go.” He could feel anxiety welling in his chest. It causes tears to prick his eyes. He outstretched his small hand again, grasping for the tail of his father’s coat. He looked up, but couldn’t even see his face. As hard as he tried to focus, his face was smudged and any semblance of his father’s features melted away into white. _

_ “We’re only going to the bank, Azuma.” He said- it sounded like his father, but his voice was dry and monotone. He couldn’t grab onto his fathers’ clothes either. The frustration of not being able to keep his grip started to make tears fall from his eyes. He looked behind him to the figure crouched on the floor as he pulled on his shoes. “Hajime, Hajime please don’t go!”  _

_ He started to cry, running for his brother. Well, he felt like he was running, but the distance between them wasn’t getting any shorter. His brother stood. His face was blurry too. He raised a hand to Azuma in a wave. “Be back soon.” _

_ He could feel it in his bones- something terrible would befall his family if he couldn;t convince them to stay. He might never see them again if they left him here alone. “No no, you can’t leave! No!” He cried again, running for his parents as his mother opened the door. “Be good while we’re gone.” He could hear her voice getting farther away.  _

_ His feet pounded against the wooden floorboards of his old family home. No, this couldn’t happen again, not like this, he had to stop them. With both of his arms reaching as far as they could go, Azuma started to wail. “Please don’t go! Don’t go!” he called out to them as loudly as he could, but quickly before his eyes, his mother disappeared out the door, then his father, and at last his older brother paused in the doorway. Azuma tripped over his own feet, falling harshly to his knees and hands. He looked up, and his front doorway seemed even further away.  _

_ “Don’t leave!” He cried, his body feeling heavy, tears streaming freely down his face.  _

_ His brother waved, then he too disappeared out the doorway. The creaking sounds of the front door closing were replaced with the sound of tires speeding on a long roadway, growing closer until they suddenly screeched loudly in Azuma’s ears.  _

“No-!” Azuma sat up in bed chest heaving and arms shaking. He was back in the indigo of his Mankai dorm room. It had to have been about 3am or so. He pushed his blanket off of his body and felt the slight chill of winter that had crept into his room over the night seep into his slightly sweaty shirt. He took a moment to gather himself and sighed loudly, bringing one hand to his face and wiping the few tears in his eyes before they could spill. He didn’t even bother to remove his hand from his face, he simply rested his fingers over his eyes and swallowed slowly. He tried to push away all the memories; his parents’ voices, his father's cologne, the color of his brother’s shirt- but the more he tried to forget the more pressing they became. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering if he would be close with his brother had he still been around. Another night like this. He could never run away from it, no matter where he went. Whenever he was alone he felt like this. He felt alone, even here.

Azuma took a pause, pulling his fingers down from his eyes. Actually… he didn’t really feel so alone right then. With tired and slightly puffy eyes he looked down over the side of his bed into his room. He didn’t see anybody. He tried to lift his body to view underneath his bed to his desk area, but he felt resistance over his lower legs and feet. He paused in confusion, looking at the foot of his bed. He hadn't noticed when he had first woken up, but in the dark he could make out the shape of a lump that he had never seen there before. It didn’t seem to be moving, but from the weight on his legs it felt like a person. Taking great care, he adjusted his legs underneath the being. He took a breath. He wasn’t scared persay, but there was a little fear of the unknown creeping up the back of his head in a chill. He was more surprised than anything. 

He leaned closer to the figure at his feet and squinted to try to make out any features. Once he moved the blanket over him to get a better look, the first thing that struck him was the white hair. The small figure wore a normal black hoodie and pajama pants, and was curled up like a cat, or a child. No blanket over him or pillow beneath his head. Azuma’s shoulders relaxed at the sight of Hisoka’s familiar face, just visible from beneath his shaggy bangs which lay askew over his eyes. They were shut obviously in sleep, and he was breathing slowly and quietly, barely audible over Azuma’s own breathing, still slightly heavy after waking from his dream. 

Azuma stared for a long time at his troupe member’s sleeping face, his mind blank, just taking in the view of somebody else on his bed. Soon he felt a gentle smile spread over his lips and his breath truly started to slow, his eyes knit together in a guilty expression. Suddenly his pulse started to come down from being erratic. Without even thinking he reached forward with a slender hand and touched Hisoka’s hair. His fingers fell down over the soft tufts and slid down to his face. He gently brushed Hisoka’s hair out of his slumbering eyes, and then softly over the skin of his cheek. Azuma never did anything like this to any of his clients- not that he had ever felt the need or compulsion to, but he knew Hisoka wouldn’t wake up if he did. 

What was this tired lad doing sleeping on Azuma’s legs? Was he trying to sleep in every place possible at Mankai? Was his and Homare’s room too cold? Well, he knew that wouldn’t stop Hisoka from falling asleep. Azuma couldn’t help but feel like maybe Hisoka knew something. He thought back to their momentary eye contact at dinner. Maybe Hisoka had heard him somehow down the hall, or sensed that he was feeling lonely, and decided to come and keep him company. Azuma sighed quietly- obviously that sounded too silly to be true. But regardless, Azuma couldn’t help but notice that he did feel better. 

“Thank you, Hisoka-kun.” He whispered, even though he knew that the smaller man wouldn’t wake, nor could he hear him. “I’m really grateful.” He spoke with sincerity, feeling his heart swell with relief. He reached behind Hisoka and pulled up the spare blanket he kept at the foot of his bed and carefully unfolded it, placing it gingerly over his sleeping bedmate. He looked down at Hisoka’s face once more and smiled. Maybe this was crossing a line, but he just couldn’t resist the urge to pet his hair. He was sure he wouldn’t mind. He flattened the curve of puffy hair on the side of Hisoka’s cute face. It really was soft, Azuma wondered what kind of hair product he used, he would have to take a look next time he took a bath. It really did feel different to fall asleep beside somebody he knew rather than just a client. Azuma’s previous ‘partners’ had made him feel better like this mostly, but a good majority of them were gone by the morning just like his clients were. He considered Hisoka a friend, and he wondered if that was why he felt so much more at ease. 

After a few strokes of his head, Hisoka started to stir.

“Ah-” Azuma raised his eyebrows, prepared to apologize and removed his hand. After the sleeping boy was still for a few moments, Azuma slowly rested his hand back onto his hair again. Hisoka exhaled through his nose and hummed quietly, definitely still asleep, and nuzzled sleepily into Azuma’s leg, veiled by his covers. 

Azuma chuckled. Maybe he liked having his hair played with, that or he just didn’t care. Whatever the reason that Hisoka made his way into Azuma’s room and into his bed, he didn’t mind having a roommate for one night. He felt as though perhaps he might even sleep a little more soundly… and, he also perhaps hoped that Hisoka would still be there when he woke up in the morning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~ This is the first thing I've written in a while, and I just did it to get my feet wet again. I'm hoping to write some more things for A3! in the future. I love the winter troupe so much, and I just know I'm going to love Guy when he comes to the EN server. HHHH wheeze idk how this site works, thanks again <3


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